The Brighter 5: Five funny comedians start your day with a laugh
[July 21, 2021: Josh Shavit]
Here are today's five funny and insightful jokes to get you into your happy place. Enjoy!
1. Anthony Jeselnik
"My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. "Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them." It’s really annoying. So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, "Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny?""
2. Bill Murray
"Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."
3. Jackie Mason
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
4. Joan Rivers
"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
5. Denis Leary
"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps. End of list."
Bonus Joke: Jon Stewart
"Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't eat for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little "Lent." What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail."
Today's Daily Sunshine Video
Hilarious vintage David Letterman set: Kids telling jokes
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