The Brighter 5: Five funny comedians start your day with a laugh
Here are today’s five funny and insightful quotes to get you into your happy place. Enjoy!
[July 26, 2021: Josh Shavit]
Here are today's five funny and insightful quotes to get you into your happy place. Enjoy!
“”
"This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard?"
“”
"Rednecks are like America's pit bulls. They should just sedate those people, drop 'em off in Afghanistan, just let them run wild. Just be like, 'Dude, just go do everything you ever dreamed of doing. Just go crazy. Have one of your friends play the banjo... it'll scare the hell out of them.'"
“”
"Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do,' and it ain't that great?"
“”
"Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented the all-meat diet... died a vegetable."
“”
"My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights."
“”
"Speaking of Quarterback nicknames, you hear they’re calling Jay Cutler 50 cent? Because you only get two quarters out of him."
“”
Very funny John Belushi skit in celebration of the Tokyo Olympics
For more good news stories check out our Good News section at The Brighter Side of News.
Like these kind of feel good stories? Get the Brighter Side of News' newsletter.
Tags: #Good_News, #Celebrity_Good_News, #Jokes, #Daily_Top_5, #The_Brighter_Side_of_News
Joseph Shavit
Science News Writer, Editor-At-Large and Publisher
Joseph Shavit, based in Los Angeles, is a seasoned science journalist, editor and co-founder of The Brighter Side of News, where he transforms complex discoveries into clear, engaging stories for general readers. With experience at major media groups like Times Mirror and Tribune, he writes with both authority and curiosity. His work spans astronomy, physics, quantum mechanics, climate change, artificial intelligence, health, and medicine. Known for linking breakthroughs to real-world markets, he highlights how research transitions into products and industries that shape daily life.