The Brighter 5: Five funny jokes to start your day with a laugh

[July 16, 2021: Josh Shavit]




Here are today's five funny and insightful musings to get you into your happy place.



1. Chris Rock


"If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12. If she tells you she's 26 and looks 26, she's damn near 40."







2. Bill Engvall


"That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men."




 
 

3. Don Rickles


On neeting Frank Sinatra:

"When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket"





4. Joan Rivers



"I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley's Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said, "I don't believe it."





 
 

5. Lewis Black


"In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in 12 years, we'll be voting for plants."






Bonus Joke: Dane Cook


"Just go to an airport, stand in front of a person who is waiting for their flight, and stare at them until they notice you are there.


When they look at you, just say "Don't get on the flight" and walk away.


You know they're sitting there going "I don't think I should get on this flight.. I think an angel just told me not to get on this flight.. Thank you angel wearing jeans!"





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Tags: #Good_News, #Jokes, #Daily_Top_5, #The_Brighter_Side_of_News

 

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