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The Brighter 5: Five funny jokes to start your day with a laugh

[July 18, 2021: Josh Shavit]




Here are today's five funny and insightful musings to get you into your happy place.




1. David Letterman




"Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that's just in the hot dogs."








2. Bob Newhart


"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means to 'put down.'"





3. Chris Rock


"I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? 'Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.'"




4. Mel Brooks



"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."






5. Mitch Hedberg


"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."







Bonus Joke: Jim Gaffigan


"I can't believe we're still giving clothing as a gift. Cause whenever you get clothing as a present, you always open it up and you think, 'Not even close.' And the person that gives it is always like, 'You can take it back if you don't like it.' 'That's alright. I'll just throw it out.' Don't give me an errand."







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