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The Brighter 5: Five funny jokes to start your day with a laugh

[July 14, 2021: Josh Shavit]




Here are today's five funny and insightful musings to get you into your happy place.



1. Jerry Seinfeld


"Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge."




2. Ellen Degeneres



"Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everyone and judge them by the car they drive?"






3. Tina Fey



"It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'"






4. Stephen Wright



"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”





5. Mitch Hedberg


"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."





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